Hey gents...

"GreenN_Gold" (GreenN_Gold)
10/30/2013 at 16:16 • Filed to: None

...can we please agree on something as a gender? Let's not stand in front of the urinal texting with both hands. You shouldn't even text at all at the urinal, but certainly not with both hands with your schmeckle dangling freely. I don't care if you haven't started peeing yet, or if you're already done peeing (And I certainly hope you're not texting while peeing "free hand"!).

I kindly emplore you to please go quickly about your business and then scoot along and attend to your texting after the fact.

DISCUSSION (28)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:17

Yikes.

This is like one of those signs/rules that makes you shake your head because it could only be there for a reason - and that reason is always that there was someone stupid enough.

ddavidn > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:19

Erm... yes. Definitely.

ttyymmnn > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:21

I would sign that petition. Jesus, if you can't be lonely for as long as it takes you to have a slash, then you're a pretty pathetic person.

Party-vi > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:21

I usually grab both sides of the urinal and thrust wildly, thereby guaranteeing an absolute minimum of conversation or people standing next to me.

MooseKnuckles > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:22

Guess where I am and what I'm doing as I type this... ya.

ttyymmnn > MooseKnuckles
10/30/2013 at 16:24

TMI.

48 Spoons > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:25

Should be extended to phone use in the restroom. Every time I see someone talking on the phone while taking a whizz I always try to be as loud as possible with bodily functions and try to make sure I flush before they stop talking just so that the person on the other end knows what the person they are talking to is doing.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:28

Other measures for consideration -

- Please learn to aim. I do not want to stand in a pool of your stale piss. If you can't direct your flow adequately with you 1/2" schlong, please go sit on a toilet like a lady

- Please do not take important work calls from the toilet. I WILL piss/fart/shit/flush as loud as I can just so the person on the other end knows where you're calling from

- When you're sitting on the throne, please don't let your pants drop all the way to the ground. 1) It's disgustingly dirty, do you seriously want that crap all over your clothes? 2) If at work, and you wear your badge on your belt, I do NOT want to see it from under the stall and know who is in there grunting their brains out taking a massive dump. I won't ever be able to look you in the eye at a meeting and take you seriously ever again.

- Please at least PRETEND to wash your hands when you're done?

All in favour say AYE?

GreenN_Gold > MooseKnuckles
10/30/2013 at 16:30

Don't drop it in!!

GreenN_Gold > Party-vi
10/30/2013 at 16:31

Literal lol.

GreenN_Gold > ZHP Sparky, the 5th
10/30/2013 at 16:33

Aye

Although it's a small office so I always know who's in there pumpin' a grumpy. It's not their fault.

HammerheadFistpunch > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:35

2 things you can do with a cell phone in a bathroom:

1. drop it in the toilet...

2. play games on silent taking a super long deuce.

ddavidn > HammerheadFistpunch
10/30/2013 at 16:37

I never use my phone in the bathr... well, yeah I do that second one. Don't tell anyone.

Dusty Ventures > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:39

So what you're saying is in an office the size of yours there's no point trying to be Bashful, Doc?

HammerheadFistpunch > ddavidn
10/30/2013 at 16:39

99% of my temple run and hill climb points were taking during a bio break.

ddavidn > HammerheadFistpunch
10/30/2013 at 16:45

Gotta get that deer hunter.

GreenN_Gold > Dusty Ventures
10/30/2013 at 16:46

Pretty much. I do a quick head count. "Hmm, let's see, yep, everyone is at their desk...it must be poo time."

Although we share a restroom with some other businesses on the floor, so there's never a guarantee.

Dusty Ventures > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:50

Shared restroom? Sounds like a Dopey set up to me. But hey, so long as everyone's Happy

horspowr1001 > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 16:56

I did once notice a guy who had his phone out while on the urinal. Just as I thought "What if he drops it into the urinal?", he did. I was somehow able to hold laughter until I left.

GreenN_Gold > Dusty Ventures
10/30/2013 at 17:00

It's an office tower. So yes, the restrooms are located in communal hallways on each floor so that all tenants can use them and customers too.

We just have to make sure we keep out homeless people because homeless people don't deserve bathrooms.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 17:01

Makes sense....I guess in that environment it's pretty difficult to remain anonymous.

The cleanliness factors still come in to play I think though (all the more reason if you're in a smaller office I think)...it's disturbing how many people seem to just unbuckle their pants and let them drop to the ground like a 3 year old ready for shower time!

Dusty Ventures > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 17:12

It would certainly be a mortifying sight to walk into the restroom and find a Sleepy, Sneezy vagrant washing himself in the sinks.

GreenN_Gold > Dusty Ventures
10/30/2013 at 17:21

I prefer my sinks to be snow white clean.

Dusty Ventures > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 17:32

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 17:32

May I add: if there is a divider, stand so that it is functional, not a foot behind it. Also if your dropping a log, perform a courtesy flush immediately after impact.

GreenN_Gold > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
10/30/2013 at 18:01

What?! I thought we were supposed to go for distance. Dammit! ;)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > GreenN_Gold
10/30/2013 at 19:10

Only outside, after a few beers. Then it is a pissing contest.

scoob > Party-vi
10/30/2013 at 21:05

I've been laughing for like 5 minutes nonstop.